Help Finding a Plastic Surgeon

About

Cosmetic Surgery

Archive for July, 2011

Plastic Surgery Lottery Party – All You Need is a Dollar and a Really Vain Dream

Thursday, July 28th, 2011

We’ve all dreamt of winning the lottery at some point in our lives. Even if it is just in a casual conversation with friends that seeks to elicit everyone’s answer to the classic question, “What would you do if you won the lottery?” The concept of the lottery is so appealing in our culture that it has even spread into areas such as sports. The NBA draft lottery probably enjoys better viewership than some of the early round playoff games, largely because everyone wants to know which down-in-the-dumps franchise is going to hit the jackpot and land an iconic super star that will reverse its poor fortunes.

Recently, one crazed British plastic surgery junkie took the concept a bit too far and organized a plastic surgery lottery party at a club in London. The event, titled “My Big Fat Plastic Surgery Prize Draw Party,” drew heavy criticism from plastic surgeons and women’s groups throughout England, but still managed to pack in a solid crowd due to the fact that there are a ton of Brits who will do just about anything for their plastic surgery fix.

Entry to the event cost about $40, and everyone in attendance was entered into a draw for a grand prize consisting of $6,500 worth of plastic surgery (winner gets to pick her dream procedure). Second prize was a series of BOTOX treatments, and there were several other smaller prizes including pole dancing lessons (more on this in a minute).

The event was hosted by Sarah Burge, who is known throughout Britain as the Human Barbie. She earned this nickname by plunging into the world of plastic surgery at an early age. By the time she reached the age of 50, she had spent more than $750,000 on plastic surgery and now looks much more like a children’s doll than a real person. Well, that’s not entirely true. While she certainly looks more fake than real, she also has a cheap hooker vibe is not done justice by her preferred nickname (again, more on this later). Our happy hooker hostess is the scary blonde woman in the picture below:

And the Winner Is…

Sarah Towle was the big winner at the first ever plastic surgery lottery party. This young booze hound is the proud owner of a $6,500 plastic surgery voucher. It is uncertain whether she will cash it in, or what procedures she would choose to undergo if she decides to take advantage of her winning lottery ticket. But it seems like she’d benefit more from some charm school classes than a few nips and tucks. She throws off a serious trailer trash vibe slugging champagne out of the bottle in her cocktail dress.

Party’s Host is a Sexually Depraved Whore

That’s right. Sarah Burge, aka the Human Barbie, is not your average plastic surgery junkie. She’s a bit of a freak. When she is not prancing around town showing off the results of her latest plastic surgery fix, the Human Barbie moonlights under the alias Madame Pink, a sex party organizer and high class whore. Her website reveals some of the sordid details of her sexual liberation after growing up in a repressive Catholic school environment. It is worth giving it a quick read, just for entertainment value. Here’s a sample:

“30 years on…she’s been stripped and stroked and laid down bare, She’s chained, and been chained. She’s exercised many a career, and been everybody’s baby!!”

One of these “many careers” has been rather lucrative. Madame Pink charges $750 an hour and will be “whatever you want me to be,” satisfaction guaranteed. Yes, she is a rather pricey whore, especially for her age and lack of real body parts. But if you want to go for a roll in the hay with a middle aged professional fornicator who charges more money an hour than some people make in an entire pay check, Madame Pink is your woman.

If you prefer, you can just pony up $1,000 to attend one of her many exotic sex parties held around the world. Some past destinations include London, Spain, Thailand, and Italy. For the price of admission, you get to spend an evening with a bunch of depraved orgy people who are willing to have sex with just about anything that moves. I’m picturing a scene similar to the fornicating zombies in season 2 of True Blood, only the location is probably a little more upscale and exotic than backwoods Louisiana.

Which brings us back full circle to one of our consolation prizes at the plastic surgery lottery party. Does it really come as a surprise that a hooker/orgy goer/sex party host like the Human Barbie would offer pole dancing lessons as a prize? I wonder if she is the teacher, imparting her decades of stripper knowledge on some young, impressionable Brit, or whether she farms out this task to one of her hordes of sex party whores. Regardless, it should certainly prove to be a once in a lifetime opportunity. I’m just not sure whether it would leave you rolling on the floor laughing or waking up in a cold sweat with pole dancing nightmares.

If you live in Northern Virginia, you probably weren’t at the lottery party. But if you’re willing to pay for your desired plastic surgery procedure, please contact Nova Surgicare today to schedule your initial consultation. This option is much better than getting a handout from a whore with a plastic surgery addiction.

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Botox, Plastic Surgery, Plastic Surgery Addict | No Comments »

Transgender Woman in Alaska Must Show Proof of Breast Augmentation to Receive Updated Driver’s License

Thursday, July 21st, 2011

As if life wasn’t already difficult enough for transgender people, the Alaskan government has heaped yet another obstacle in their way of living a normal life. For transgender women, proving you are a good driver is less of a criteria for receiving a license than proving you have breasts.

Shocking, I know. But then again, this is the state that brought us Sarah Palin. Can we really be surprised that they are still in the Stone Age when it comes to transgender human rights issues?

Recently, a male-to-female (MTF) transgender individual tried to get her gender changed to “female” on her driver’s license. To her surprise, the Alaska DMV denied the request, despite the fact that she possessed a valid U.S. passport and work documents identifying her as a female. The reason for this denial? She didn’t provide them with proof of breast augmentation.

Yes, it appears that having large breasts has now become criteria for MTF candidates to be considered officially female. Without proof of breast implants, the state of Alaska will continue to view these people as “male” even though the rest of their anatomy would bluntly scream “Bullshit!”

According to this Alaskan MTF person, who has lived as a woman for more than two years, “Having a driver’s license that doesn’t match my appearance and identity would place me at risk of discrimination and physical harm.” I can’t say that I can argue with her logic on this point. I would imagine possessing a driver’s license denoting her as a male would make her life excessively difficult on many levels, especially living in a hardcore red state like Alaska.

ACLU Steps In

The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has taken up her cause, filing a brief against the Alaska DMV for their discriminatory practices. The ACLU claims, “It is unfair and unnecessary to require that transgender people undergo prohibitively expensive and drastic surgery in order to have accurate identity documents. No one should…be forced to make major medical decisions in order to get a driver’s license.”

Once again, I can’t say I disagree with this argument. A full MTF sex change operation is already pretty pricey, costing upwards of $75,000. This includes fees to cover:

I can’t exactly blame this woman if she didn’t have an extra $5,000-10,000 lying around for a boob job. Nor could I argue with her decision to want to avoid any additional unnecessary major surgery. I’m sure the genital procedure was intense enough.

Luckily, it appears that not all the hicks living a stone’s throw from Russia have lost their marbles. The Alaska Supreme Court has sided with the transgender woman on this issue, ruling that the Alaska Constitution’s privacy clause protects her right to self-expression and limits the government’s ability to dictate her personal health care decisions. Hopefully, that means she’ll be back on the road pretty soon, thumbing her nose at the bigoted bureaucrats that tried to keep her down.

Following in France’s Footsteps

The Alaskan government isn’t the first example of a government running amok and denying equal rights to transgenders. Could you believe that similar buffoonery was on display in France just a few years ago? Shocking, I know. The self-righteous French actually had the gall to try and make breast size the ultimate criteria for being considered female. Forget the equipment in between the legs. That doesn’t really verify your womanhood. But a couple of silicone jugs in your chest, now that’s the measure of a woman. At least according to the French.

Back in 2007, the French government tried to deny Delphine Ravise-Giard an official change in her gender status because her breasts were too small. Before her sex change operation, Ms. Ravise-Giard served in the French Air Force for many years. The French military had no problem acknowledging her identity change and updated all of her official records to indicate that she was now a woman. However, this wasn’t enough for the French government. In order for Ms. Ravise-Giard to officially finalize her change of gender status, the courts wanted her to produce written documentation that she had undergone sexual reassignment.

The court went as far as to force the French military to reverse the alterations to her records. As a result, she was once again officially male. Ms. Ravise-Giard fought the court’s ruling, and earlier this year the French Ministry of Justice ruled in her favor, saying sex reassignment was not a prerequisite for recognition of change in gender status when she is undergoing other treatments intended to alter her gender.

But the crazy French bureaucrats would not take their lumps like adults. Instead, they pushed back. The Chief Prosecutor stated that in the eyes of the court, Ms. Ravise-Giard needed breasts to be considered a woman. Furthermore, these breasts needed to be of sufficient size and permanence to satisfy the French government. In other words, hormone therapy isn’t enough. You need breast augmentation to be a real woman. Otherwise, you’re not truly serious about your gender change.

I suppose that by these standards, all women with small breasts would have their womanhood questioned by the French government. I wonder what cup size you need in order to be considered a real woman. Are B cups enough? Do you need a C cup? Where does the madness end? And for small-breasted women who do not undergo breast augmentation, how would the French classify them? Would they just place an asterisk next to the “female” designation on their driver’s license? I’m sure that would help all of the French women with body image issues feel better about themselves.

Perhaps this is all a grand scheme by French plastic surgeons to boost their profits. After all, what could possibly be a more compelling argument for breast augmentation than to tell a woman she won’t be officially considered female if her breasts are too small?

I guess there’s just no hope for our society. Human rights issues haven’t advanced nearly as far as people would like you to believe. We have ironclad proof of that in Alaska and France.

If you are a MTF candidate and would like to ensure your continued right to drive a car, better sign up for that breast augmentation procedure quick. Otherwise, you’ll be taking the bus for the indefinite future. Please contact Chicago, Illinois plastic surgeon Dr. John Kotis today to schedule your initial consultation.

Tags: , ,
Posted in Breast Augmentation, Breast Implants, Plastic Surgery | No Comments »

Bad Teacher – Breaking the Law for Breast Augmentation

Friday, July 15th, 2011

The other day, the entire writing department went on an outing to go see Bad Teacher. I actually found the movie to be surprisingly twisted, wacky and funny. The former teacher in me really appreciated the way they poked fun at many of the inept, dysfunctional middle schools out there. If you have ever taught middle school, you should definitely go see the movie. You’ll appreciate it on more levels than you can imagine.

But what I really want to focus this blog on is the unexpected ways that Cameron Diaz’s character’s quest for breast augmentation drove the action of the movie. Please note: if you plan on watching this movie, you might want to stop reading here since I may give away more of the plot than you would want to hear.

The plot centers on Cameron Diaz’s efforts to land a rich husband so that she can get out of teaching and live the good life she feels she deserves. She figures the best way to rope in a sugar daddy is to get breast augmentation. In her mind, big breasts = a big, drooling Daddy Warbucks.

Unfortunately, Cameron has one small problem. She doesn’t have the money to pay for her boob job, and her rich fiancée dumped her in order to find a girl that actually cared about more than his money. As with many of the people I regularly blog about, desperate times bring desperate measures. And Cameron is willing to do just about anything to get her breast implants.

Believe me when I say she would do anything. While her entire existence in this movie was a clinic on how to break the law and get away with it, many of these infractions were committed in the name of breast augmentation. By my count, she committed six major crimes in order to get her breast implants, and each would land her in jail for a long time:

  • Embezzlement – She stole funds from the 7th grade car wash and diverted them to her boob job fund. In fairness, she probably deserved to skim some money off the top since the car wash wouldn’t have earned nearly as much money without her help. She did her best Tawny Kitaen impression writhing on the hood of a car in a wet t-shirt, invoking images of the famous Whitesnake video from the 80s.
  • Identity fraud – She assumed the identity of an investigative journalist in order to gain access to the state standardized test her students would have to take.
  • Assault – Not sure if I even have the right crime on this one, but she definitely broke the law when she drugged the guy who works for the state testing agency in an attempt to get her hands on the test.
  • Theft – By now, you knew this would be on the list. She stole the test. In the days of No Child Left Behind, this is a serious offense.
  • Tampering with state standardized tests – Yes, she forged the answers on her students’ tests so that they would get the highest score in the school. As a reward, she received a bonus totaling almost $6,000.
  • Blackmail – Eventually, word got out that she stole the standardized test. But Cameron was as calculating as she was desperate. She had a contingency plan in case this situation arose. While the testing agency guy was passed out, she took a series of dirty sex photos of him. Once he declared his intention to come forward with his story, she pulled her Ace in the hole. After seeing the photos, the testing agency guy retracted his accusations, clearing Cameron of all wrong-doing.

Breaking the Law for Breast Implants

While Cameron Diaz was clearly playing an over-the-top, caricature-like character in Bad Teacher, her character is rooted in some degree of truth. Believe it or not, there are actually quite a few people out there who have committed felonies in order to pay for breast augmentation. While I won’t bore you with the litany of identity theft tales out there (just read some of my previous blog posts for those), I will tell you one sinister story involving murder.

In 2005, Cynthia Sommer was arrested and charged with first-degree murder for financial gain. Prosecutors alleged that she poisoned her Marine husband with arsenic in order to collect his $250,000 military life insurance policy.

There were lots of sordid details that painted a compelling case against her:

  • Liver tests found arsenic levels 1,020 times above normal in her husband’s body at the time of death
  • Her husband began showing symptoms of arsenic poisoning 10 days before he died, the same day Sommer visited a plastic surgeon’s office for a breast augmentation consultation
  • Two weeks before her husband died, Sommer paid $16.95 for an Internet dating service
  • Immediately following her husband’s death, Sommer got her boob job with the help of her big life insurance pay day and then began throwing raging parties at her home
  • Two months after her husband died, Sommer had a new boyfriend

Cynthia Sommer was initially convicted of murder, but the judge threw out the verdict because the prosecutor’s description of her lifestyle following her husband’s death was so inflammatory that it deprived her of a fair trial. Several months later, her new lawyer requested that some remaining tissue samples taken from her husband’s body be tested for arsenic. When these new tissue samples were tested, there was no trace of arsenic. This created enough reasonable doubt to have her case dismissed.

No one, other than Cynthia Sommer, will ever truly know what happened the night her husband inexplicably died on a Marine base in San Diego. Perhaps he died of a heart attack. Perhaps she really did kill him. If so, she certainly got away with murder, but at a hefty price. She spent about 3 years in jail while her case went through the court system. Now she’s back on the streets with a 6-year-old boob job and a whopper of a legal bill that probably used up most, if not all, of her life insurance settlement. I hope for her sake that Cameron Diaz is right about the power of breast implants to rope in a sugar daddy. Otherwise, this mother of 4 will most likely never taste the good life again.

If you live in Denver, Colorado and would like to get breast augmentation, please contact Grossman plastic surgery today to schedule your initial consultation. But make sure you can pay for your surgery legally. In the world of Hollywood, Cameron Diaz got away with all of her crimes, but in real life, you’ll probably end up being some convict’s bitch for years to come, and then you won’t get to enjoy your new fake breasts.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Breast Augmentation, Breast Implants | No Comments »

Facial Plastic Surgery and MMA – Giving Fighters that Extra Edge

Wednesday, July 6th, 2011

It’s no secret that many fighters have mangled, mutilated faces. They take a serious beating every time they step into the ring. Just ask Mickey Rourke, who opted for a massive facelift to mask the damage caused by indulging his fascination with boxing. Unfortunately for Rourke, this procedure left him looking freakish in a different way. Luckily, he’s done alright for himself by garnering movie roles that required a beat-up, scary looking guy (Sin City, Iron Man 2, and The Wrestler come to mind).

But while Mickey Rourke, and quite possibly many other fighters, turned to plastic surgery to make their face look whole again, there has been a small contingent of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighters who have discovered that facial plastic surgery can actually provide them with a competitive edge in the ring.

These fighters aren’t concerned with how they will look on the cover of a magazine or whether they can up their odds at landing the gorgeous woman sitting at the end of the bar. Instead, these fighters are turning to plastic surgery to help them endure more hits without having their face turn into Swiss cheese.

A Stitching that Takes a Licking and Keeps on Ticking

For many boxers and MMA fighters, a face predisposed to skin lacerations is somewhat of an Achilles heel. Once your face gets busted open, it can be difficult to see, often costing superior fighters defeat at the hands of lesser talented adversaries who are simply better human punching bags. Several years ago, one plastic surgeon from Las Vegas decided he might be able to do something to help these fighters reduce the bleeding.

It is rare that a fighter will have cuts sustained in the ring treated by a plastic surgeon. Instead, these wounds are attended to by medical professionals who do not possess the refined skill in scar tissue management and suturing. Instead of closing these wounds in layers, many fight doctors simply stitch up the outermost layer of skin. The next time the fighter gets hit in that region, these poorly closed wounds are easily sliced through. This new cut is then stitched up in the same shoddy manner, starting an endless cycle that leaves the skin about as durable as a piece of tissue paper.

Dr. Frank Stile figured that if he were to replace this ground up skin with more stable tissue, it might reverse the damage caused by layer upon layer of poor post-fight stitching. His first guinea pig was MMA fighter Nick Diaz. Dr. Stile used sterilized donor tissue from a cadaver to replace the weak scar tissue causing Diaz to bleed profusely at every fight. He also smoothed the sharp edges of Diaz’s facial bones, making them less likely to cause additional cuts when sustaining blows to the face in the future. Unlike the superficial suturing Diaz received after fights, Dr. Stile sewed the incision wounds from this procedure properly, providing additional strength that previously never existed.

The procedure was a huge success, and Nick Diaz rarely develops serious cuts during fights anymore. This has helped him earn the welterweight title in Strikeforce, the second largest MMA league (UFC is the largest).

Dr. Stile has performed similar facial plastic surgery procedures on several other MMA fighters, achieving excellent results. He has begun experimenting with other procedures as well. Recently, Dr. Stile performed a nose job on UFC fighter Phil Baroni to correct a deviated septum caused by several broken noses. This procedure has helped Baroni breathe more easily and as a result, he no longer needs to keep his jaw hanging wide open in order to get sufficient amounts of air. Dr. Stile expects nose reconstruction to become big for many fighters in the near future.

Does this Go Too Far?

There are obvious ethical questions associated with the use of surgical procedures to create a competitive edge. What if plastic surgeons began placing jaw implants in fighters to make it harder for an opponent to deliver a knock-out blow? Would this be crossing a line? Clearly, the fighter than can withstand a severe beating experiences a tremendous advantage over those who are predisposed to cutting and bleeding.

Currently, it seems that the use of plastic surgery among fighters is not being questioned by the MMA organizations they fight for. However, it will be interesting to see if regulations get imposed as these surgeries become a more prominent part of the sport.

If you are an MMA fighter in the New York City area looking to boost your competitive edge, please contact Dr. George Lefkovits today to schedule your initial consultation. Experience the difference a new face can make in taking a good punch.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Facelift, Plastic Surgery | No Comments »

Entries (RSS) | Comments (RSS).

 
Disclaimer: The information throughout The Cosmetic Surgery Directory is not intended to be taken as plastic surgery advice. The information throughout The Cosmetic Surgeon Directory is intended to provide general information regarding cosmetic surgery and to help you find a local cosmetic surgeon. If you are interested in cosmetic surgery, contact a cosmetic surgeon in your area.
 
Let us Put You in Touch with a Plastic Surgeon in Your Area!