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The Cosmetic Surgery Directory BlogWelcome to The Cosmetic Surgery Directory Blog, a resource for people interested in plastic surgery. This consumer-friendly website can be used as a central resource to answer your questions about plastic surgery. Information about Cosmetic Surgeons and Plastic Surgery. |
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Archive for January, 2011German Porn Star Sexy Cora Dies from Breast Augmentation ComplicationsWednesday, January 26th, 2011 I’m sure I’m going to Hell in a hand basket for this one, but right about now I can’t help but think Freddie Mercury is singing “Another One Bites the Dust” as he rots in his grave. Yes, tasteless, I know. But also true. Another overzealous woman has let her quest for an ever-expanding bra size be her downfall. This time, it is German porn star Carolin Berger, better known by her porn star name – “Sexy Cora.”
Sexy Cora died last week due to complications related to her sixth breast augmentation, which was intended to take her from a 34F to a 34G. She was 23 years old. In order to make the jump to a whopping G cup, Sexy Cora was having 800g (28oz) of silicone injected into each breast. During the January 11th procedure, her heart stopped beating and she suffered severe brain damage. She had been in an artificially induced coma ever since. The incident is currently under investigation, and two of the doctors involved in the breast augmentation procedure have been charged with negligent manslaughter. This was the first time Sexy Cora had undergone a breast implant procedure at this clinic. Her five previous procedures had all been performed at a clinic in Poland. However, these doctors had felt enough is enough, and they refused to perform the sixth procedure. I understand that in the porn industry, having very large breasts is part of the job description. But 34G? Really? She couldn’t live with 34Fs? That wouldn’t have been good enough? Apparently, Sexy Cora was not destined to live with 34Gs either. While her death is certainly tragic, I feel like I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that this could have been avoided if she were just a bit more modest. It’s not like she couldn’t pull off a solid career in porn with her 34Fs. Those seem plenty big to tantalize the horny perverts getting off on Internet fornication. And now, sadly, she will never get to be jack-hammered from behind by a sleazy looking Euro trash porn star named Inza Rektum ever again. Men across the world are crying out in despair over this turn of events. When the clinic that has performed all of your other breast augmentations turns you down, it should be a sign that maybe this sixth procedure is a bad idea. But I suppose if she had that much common sense, she’d probably have a less hazardous job than that of a porn star. To all of you aspiring young porn stars out there, I hope you can learn from Sexy Cora’s tragic tale. But in case you are too stubborn (or too stupid) to get the message, here goes:
So while I do feel bad for Sexy Cora, her family, and her hordes of faithful porn fans, I won’t apologize for my tasteless “Another One Bites the Dust” reference. Clearly, her eyes were writing checks her body couldn’t cash. If you insist on getting multiple breast augmentations to bring out your inner porn star, please contact experienced Houston, Texas plastic surgeon Dr. Michael Ciaravino today to schedule your initial consultation. Dr. Ciaravino has been helping Playboy and Maxim models bring out their inner porn star for years. If he’s good enough for them, he should be good enough for you. Posted in Breast Augmentation, Breast Implants | No Comments » BlackBerry BOTOXWednesday, January 19th, 2011 There is a growing trend developing in the world of plastic surgery. More and more people are undergoing BlackBerry BOTOX. No, Allergan has not added flavoring to their wildly popular wrinkle reduction injections, although that would be rather entertaining. This new term refers to a rise in BOTOX® Cosmetic procedures brought about by an overuse of smart phones such as the BlackBerry or iPhone. It appears that squinting at your smart phone all day can lead to premature facial wrinkles. Reading messages on the tiny screen on your smart phone causes your face to scrunch up, creating tension between your brows. Over time, this will cause frown lines to develop in the brow region. I always thought that we would eventually learn that these devices cause cancer, not wrinkles. If the only downside to smart phones is a few wrinkles, then I think most people should breathe a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be the typical response among consumers. Instead, it has created a sense of paralysis and impending doom. Clearly, the obvious solution of using your smart phone more sparingly is not an option for our technology-dependent culture. How could people get through the day without instantly posting a Facebook status update about their massive after-lunch dump? This is important information to get out there for 583 of your closest friends to read. No, our culture has devised a different solution to this problem. Shoot your face full of BOTOX® Cosmetic so that your smart phone wrinkles go away. Hence the term BlackBerry BOTOX. I know, the alliterativeness of the term is great. It is actually what inspired me to write a blog on such a banal subject in the first place. I have to admit, I wish I had coined the term myself. Then maybe I would be primed to start making the big bucks. To all you people out there who waste your money on a phone that plays music and lets you check your email, I have this comment for you – serves you right to get wrinkles faster. Those devices are unnecessary anyway. Stay old school like me, and keep your youthful good looks. But if you feel the uncontrollable urge to be on the grid 24 hours a day, you can always cheat youth and get rid of your newfound wrinkles with a BlackBerry BOTOX session. You can even use your smart phone to find the right plastic surgeon to do the deed. Now, isn’t that ironic? If you live in the New York City area and need a few BlackBerry BOTOX sessions to ward off some “phoney” frown lines, please contact board certified plastic surgeon Dr. George Lefkovits today to schedule your free initial consultation. Posted in Botox | No Comments » Is Your Closet Filled with Clothes You Don’t Fit Into?Wednesday, January 12th, 2011 For many women, the answer to this question is a resounding yes. According to a study conducted in England, the average woman has 12 items of clothing in her closet that she’s holding onto in the hope that they may fit again one day. The study indicates that the top 10 most commonly unworn items filling a woman’s closet are: 1. Jeans In many cases, these 12 items of clothes are worth more than $450. Wow. I’m not sure that I have $450 worth of clothes in my closet at all, much less that much in clothes I can’t fit into. Talk about a waste of money. Or is it? Say these women get rid of this clothing from a leaner, fitter time in their lives. Now, suppose these women actually take the weight off one day. They’ll have to fork over all that money once again to replace all of these items of clothing they’ve so callously discarded due to: A. A lack in confidence that they can actually take off the weight It would seem that it is more cost effective to just hold onto those clothes, like so many women apparently do, in order to avoid having to splurge on a whole new wardrobe every time you drop a couple of pants sizes. I suppose this is the logic behind the hording of clothes that will never fit again. Or perhaps these items of clothing serve as motivation for some of these women to hit the gym and shed a few pounds. Doubtful, but you never know. Most likely, the vast majority of these women will be able to hang onto these items of clothes for decades without ever being able to fit back into them. I know this is cynical, but let’s face it – most people tend to gain weight, not lose it, as they get older. And of course, there is one other question that must be raised. How long can you hold onto certain pieces of clothing before they are no longer fashionable to wear and would make you look utterly ridiculous? If you still have those neon pink tights in your closet from the late 80s hoping you’ll regain your college figure, it might be time to admit that even if you could fit into them, you would never in your right mind even consider wearing such a hideous outfit. Right about now, you may be wondering what this has to do with plastic surgery. Believe it or not, I’m actually wondering the same thing. The truth is it has absolutely nothing to do with plastic surgery. I just thought this was an interesting piece of useless information that points out the absurdities we cling to each and every day. But I suppose it is possible to relate the findings of this study to plastic surgery, albeit tangentially. So here goes… If you are one of these poor women hopelessly holding onto a bygone era of your life when you were slim and fit, all hope is not lost. There is still a way you can fit into these clothes again, justifying the valuable real estate they occupy in your closet:
I think I’m starting to see a pattern here. I suppose my underlying message is toss the clothes. It’s all about rocking that bikini once more. Hmm. Maybe this would have made a better blog for July than January. Of course, it would probably cost you much more to get this plastic surgery performed than it would to just pony up and buy some clothes that actually fit you. Ah, the cruel irony of plastic surgery – it’s never a bargain, no matter which way you look at it. If you are still hording hundreds of dollars of old clothes in your closet hoping to fit into them again, I suggest you make a trip to good will. But if you insist on being stubborn, then you may want to contact experienced Chicago plastic surgeon Dr. John Kotis today to schedule your initial consultation. What are you waiting for? You’ve got over $450 worth of clothes getting mothballs as we speak. Better get a move on. Posted in Plastic Surgery | No Comments » Best of Cosmetic Surgery Directory Blog 2010 – Part 4Wednesday, January 5th, 2011 And now, for the moment you have all been waiting for – the top 3 blog posts for 2010. In many ways, it was very difficult narrowing down the posts to include in this “best of” series. There were lots of great ones to choose from. I guess I owe all the plastic surgery freaks out there a huge thank you for that. However, when it came time to choose the absolute best of the best, there was no contest – the following 3 blogs were a notch above all the rest. Drum roll please… Transsexual Performing Phony Breast Exams in a Bar is Arrested for Impersonating Female Plastic Surgeon Yes, this one was so juicy I had to split it into two parts. If you aren’t enticed by the title, then I really don’t understand why you’d even bother reading my blog. This is the kind of smut that makes the Cosmetic Surgery Directory Blog what it has become today. Part 1 goes into great detail regarding the specifics of this quite unusual situation. You should be able to get the gist of what happened from the title – a man living near Boise, Idaho regularly dressed up as a woman and visited the local bars, claiming to be a female plastic surgeon. He would then perform phony breast exams on women who indicated that they were interested in undergoing breast augmentation. Somehow, the gullible drunks in Idaho bought this ruse hook, line, and sinker. However, his deception was a bit too rooted in real life details, such as the fact that he provided these women with the phone number of an actual plastic surgeon in the area. Eventually, the staff at this surgeon’s office got tired of receiving calls directed towards the fictional Dr. Berlyn Aussieahshowna and called the police. The details of this story make Part 1 well worth the read. Plus, I had a lot of fun playing around with variations of the name “Aussieahshowna” throughout the post. These variations alone make the post worth checking out. Some of my favorites include a reference to The Last Dragon (easily one of the best cheesy B movies to come out of the 80s), The Matrix, and a famous brand of overalls. There are a few other good ones in there too. You’ll just have to read it to find out. In Part 2, the blog kicks into overdrive. This section contains my commentary about this bizarre situation. It draws parallels between this story and several 80s pop culture powerhouses: Fletch and Cheers. Yes, Fletch was the master of disguise, and he even impersonated a surgeon himself (Dr. RosenRosen/Dr. Rosenpenis). It seemed natural to compare Fletch’s alias-creating skills with that of Dr. Aussieahshowna. Similarly, the Cheers comparisons were begging to be made. After all, this story takes place in a bar. If you are wondering how Dr. Aussieahsnowna would have fared as a character on the classic sitcom, then you’d best get reading. All the answers lie inside Part 2. Woman Crushes Watermelon with Torpedo-Sized Breast Implants The video of this woman’s exploits is contained in the blog post, and if nothing else, you MUST check it out. If you’ve never seen a woman use her oversized breast implants to crush a watermelon, then you are in for a treat. But beyond the video, this blog happens to pack a considerable punch. The laughs keep on rolling from start to finish. About half way through the blog, it veers off on a tangent where I describe how this event would have transpired under different circumstances. Want to know how Darth Vader would have crushed the watermelon? Or how Don Corleone would have ordered the watermelon’s execution? How would this thing be destroyed in the Matrix? Of course, I saved the best for last. You will without a doubt want to find out how Mr. Miyagi would have trained her to use karate to crush the watermelon. Implants of Mass Destruction My sister claims this is the best post in the history of The Cosmetic Surgery Directory Blog, and she may be right. At the very least, it is the best post of 2010. In my opinion (and hers), there is none better. Beware – do not read Implants of Mass Destruction before you plan on traveling. It will definitely make you think twice about getting on a plane. It appears that Muslim plastic surgeons trained in London’s most prestigious teaching hospitals have begun using their skills to wreak havoc on the Western world. They have created Boobie Bombers, the newest super weapons to enter the War on Terror. These Boobie Bombers have been outfitted with explosive devices in their silicone breast implants. Any day now, they may be passing through our airport security checks without raising any red flags. After all, how are we going to be able to detect these bombs when they are constructed out of lethal explosive silicone? It’s not like they’ll set off the metal detectors. I believe that this post ranks as #1 for the year for several reasons:
I think you get the point. You know you need to read this one. Just do it already. For those of you who regularly read my plastic surgery blog, I thank you. I’m sure there will be plenty more insanity in the world of plastic surgery to make 2011 equally memorable. And when these wacky events take place, you can be sure that I’ll be here to tear them to shreds on this blog. Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments » |
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Disclaimer: The information throughout The Cosmetic Surgery Directory is not intended to be taken as plastic surgery advice. The information throughout The Cosmetic Surgeon Directory is intended to provide general information regarding cosmetic surgery and to help you find a local cosmetic surgeon. If you are interested in cosmetic surgery, contact a cosmetic surgeon in your area.
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