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Archive for June, 2010

Will BOTOX Become the Next Terrorist Biological Weapon?

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

I know it may sound crazy, but there are growing concerns among bio-terror experts that BOTOX may become the next biological weapon unleashed on the world by terrorists. Could it be? What was once considered a jack-of-all trades wonder drug may become the undoing of the human race? Say it ain’t so. No need to worry about anthrax anymore – that’s child’s play compared to BOTOX.

This is the second major hit to BOTOX’s reputation in a little over a month. Recently, a psychology study clearly demonstrated that BOTOX diminishes your capacity to experience emotion. Somehow, that revelation hasn’t seemed to deter the masses from making BOTOX one of the most popular plastic surgery procedures in the country. I guess a wrinkle-free face trumps feeling joy and pain for the vain and superficial members of our society. I wonder if a mass terror scare will change the way they think.

According to two bio-terror experts, Ken Coleman and Raymond A. Zilinskas, if terrorists can harness the active ingredient in BOTOX, botulinum toxin, they can kill millions in one fell swoop. I’d say that packs a much better punch than the breast implant bombs they’ve been working up to beat our airport explosives detectors.

While a typical BOTOX dosage administered by your local plastic surgeon is so mild that it would take hundreds of vials to kill one person, a concentrated dose could actually wreak havoc on an entire region of the country. Coleman and Zilinskas have described BOTOX as “the deadliest substance known to science.” Jeez, doesn’t that sound like a great thing to shoot into your face?

The neurotoxin particles in BOTOX block receptors on nerve endings, silencing the nerves and paralyzing surrounding muscles. Apparently, the most popular wrinkle-relaxing injectable is so lethal that one gram could kill 14,285 people if ingested, 1.25 million people if inhaled, and 8.3 million people if injected. That’s some serious carnage.

In a recent article published in Scientific American, Coleman and Zilinskas warn that if terrorists ever discover the deadly potential of BOTOX, they can unleash a wave of terror unlike any we’ve ever seen before.

Well, I guess the secret is officially out. All Bin Laden and his cronies need to do is read the latest edition of Scientific American and they’ll learn everything they need to know about wiping out the Western world. Thanks a lot, guys. Our bio-terror experts may be adept at detecting potential threats, but they seem to be less skilled at keeping this knowledge under wraps. Why don’t we just mail them the biological weapon while we’re at it?

It appears that for the time being, we are still safe. Security experts do not believe that terrorists currently have the capability to transform BOTOX into the harbinger of death. But now that we’ve broadcast its destructive power for everyone to read, it may enter their radar. Unfortunately, the immense popularity of BOTOX has made it very easy to obtain over the Internet and on the black market. I doubt the terrorists will have any trouble getting their hands on the stuff if they really want it.

Please don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not one of those overly paranoid people who is going to live in fear because I read an article saying that BOTOX can be deadly enough to wipe out the human race if it falls into the wrong hands. I just think it’s shocking that our bio-terror experts would broadcast this information to the entire world in a public forum such as Scientific American. It’s almost as if they’re begging the terrorists to begin work on this new agent of destruction. I would have hoped that our anti-terrorist people were smarter than that.

However, this information does raise another important question – why in the world would anyone want to inject a substance like that into their face? Are six months of diminished wrinkles really worth the risk you take by allowing such a dangerous poison to enter your system? I just don’t get it, and I probably never will.

If you live in the Jacksonville, Florida area and would like to use up some of our supply of BOTOX before the terrorists get their hands on it, please contact experienced Jacksonville plastic surgeon Dr. Ankit Desai today to schedule your free initial consultation.

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Russian Model Sues Airline after Turbulence Ruptures Her Massive Breast Implants

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

Russian supermodel Iren Ferrari is suing Swiss Air after turbulence on one of their flights “busted” her massive size 44J breast implants (pun intended). That’s right, according to Ferrari, the air turbulence is the airline’s fault, and she deserves to get paid for her embarrassing mishap. She’s even asking for $120,000 to replace her ruptured implant! And people accuse Americans of frivolous lawsuits.

Apparently, Ferrari was sitting in business class, yet despite the extra room afforded by this seating upgrade, her breasts were still too large to fit safely between her seat and the row in front of her. According to the supermodel’s accounts, the turbulence on the plane thrust her body into the seat in front of her, causing her breast implants to burst.

I thought models were supposed to be quite skilled at following directions. After all, they get bossed around by photographers all the time. However, it appears that Ferrari has a bit of a bratty streak in her. The pilot’s instructions to “Fasten your seat belt, we’re experiencing some turbulence” were just too much for her to endure. Now she must endure a breast augmentation revision surgery to replace her circus boobs, which weigh 20 pounds each.

This is not the first time a breast implant has become a casualty of air turbulence. Last fall, an Australian woman’s breast implants popped at a Pink concert due to air pressure and turbulence on the flight she took to see the show.

Perhaps flying is not very safe for women who have undergone breast augmentation. Perhaps to avoid liability for such a preposterous event, airlines should start placing disclaimers at the bottom of tickets saying:

“Air turbulence can cause overly large breast implants to pop at a moment’s notice, leaving you deformed and embarrassed. If you are audacious enough to require jumbo sized implants, you may as well just stay home. Otherwise, you risk looking even more like a sideshow freak than you already do.”

If you live in the Newport Beach, California area and you would like normal sized breast implants, please contact experienced Orange County plastic surgeon Dr. Douglas Hendricks today to schedule your initial consultation. Be warned – if you go too big, you may not survive your next flight in one piece.

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Posted in Breast Implants | 1 Comment »

Florida Woman Arrested for Plastic Surgery Identity Theft

Friday, June 11th, 2010

Shatarka Nuby, a 29-year-old woman from Florida, has recently been arrested on charges of plastic surgery identity theft. She stole another woman’s credit card information and charged $9,000 to cover her breast augmentation procedure.

Nuby lifted personal information from a girl’s college application. The application never reached the university. Instead, it fell into the hands of our identity thief, who used it to open five credit cards in the girl’s name. Nuby ran up $19,000 on these cards, placing the college applicant in considerable debt.

Breast augmentation wasn’t the only plastic procedure Nuby received. She also used the illegal credit cards to pay for liposuction on her arms. If convicted, she may spend as much as ten years in jail.

What is this world coming to? Every week, there are reports of women who are committing identity theft for boob jobs, liposuction, tummy tucks, and sometimes even BOTOX. I just don’t get it.

There must be an easier way to get free plastic surgery. Nuby could have registered on My Free Implants.com to get her breast augmentation for free, but judging by her mug shot, it probably would have been a LONG time before anyone felt like throwing down cash for her surgery.

My feeling is that if you are going to make the effort to steal someone’s identity and shoulder the risk of going to jail, you may as well get something more substantial for your money than breast implants. Maybe a new car or an exotic vacation around the world. At the very least, she should have bought a plane ticket to a country where there is no extradition so that she could enjoy her new implants on a Brazilian beach.

But unfortunately, she couldn’t see past her cosmetic makeover. Now the only people who will be fondling her implants for the next ten years are other women sharing her jail cell.

If you live in the Naples, Florida area and are interested in breast augmentation, please contact experienced Florida plastic surgeon Dr. Manuel Peña today to schedule your free initial consultation. Remember to bring two forms of ID – Dr. Peña only treats patients who actually are who they say they are.

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After Massive Plastic Surgery, NY Banker Gets Fired for Being “Too Hot”

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

Ah, the irony runs thick in this story. Talk about getting a healthy dose of karma heaped right at your face.

New York City banker Debrahlee Lorenzana has been making national headlines over the past few weeks after she filed a sexual discrimination lawsuit against her former employer, Citigroup. She claimed the bank fired her because she was too attractive. Furthermore, she has alleged that her employer prohibited her from wearing clothing similar to the business attire worn by her female colleagues because it was distracting her male co-workers, who couldn’t help but gawk and stare at her body all day.

These are pretty strong allegations which if confirmed, would devastate Citigroup’s reputation. They should not be made lightly.

While I have not conducted a thorough investigation into these allegations and I will most definitely not be part of the jury should this case go to trial, I must say that based on all of the information about this case floating over the newswire, it seems that Lorenzana’s credibility is highly questionable at best. Please allow me to explain.

The latest ripple in this story came earlier this week, when a 2003 documentary from the Discovery Channel called “Plastic Surgery New York Style” surfaced. Take a wild guess who one of the stars of this program was. That’s right – it’s our own sexy banker, Debrahlee.

Yes, it seems that her sex appeal is not entirely au naturale. Lorenzana had considerable help attaining the hot body that, according to her, ultimately got her fired from her job at a New York Citibank branch. By the age of 26, she had already undergone four plastic surgery procedures:

Of course, the fact that Lorenzana is a borderline plastic surgery addict does not in any way imply that her allegations regarding her treatment at Citibank are false. However, her comments and demeanor throughout this documentary do not paint a portrait of a serious professional who you would expect to find working at one of the largest banks in the country. It is this behavior that makes me wonder whether she exhibited similar unprofessionalism at work, which certainly might be legitimate grounds for dismissal.

Just so that there is no questioning my assessment of her professionalism, I would like to summarize some of the more colorful comments she sprinkled throughout this documentary:

When discussing her opinion on plastic surgery, she exuberantly declared on camera, “I love plastic surgery. I think it is the best thing that ever happened.” (editorial note: Spoken like a true plastic surgery addict. If you weren’t in love with plastic surgery, you wouldn’t have opted for four procedures before the age of 27.)

She made it clear that her ultimate goal was to construct the perfect body to reel in a trophy husband with Hollywood good looks. Her ideal “blue-eyed dreamboat” resembles George Clooney or Ben Affleck. She was confident that her newfound hotness would do the trick:

“He’ll be happy because I’ll be looking like a little Playboy Playmate…something between Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra.” (editorial note: Do you really think that looking like a Playmate will help you land the perfect guy? Most likely, you will find someone with a porn fetish.)

The documentary films her walking through the grocery store with a friend, describing what her new DD breasts will look like after her second breast augmentation. Not one for modest aspirations, Lorenzana went straight to the fruit aisle, grabbed two huge melons, and held them up to her chest.

Of course, the best line out of her mouth was her declaration that she wanted to be “tits on a stick.” (editorial note: Will your “tits on a stick” come with a chocolate or raspberry coating?)

Recently, Lorenzana has told reporters, “I get harassed in the supermarket with my son just wearing sweatpants with my hair in a ponytail. I can’t help how I look.” (editorial note: Yes you can. You had four plastic surgery procedures performed to look like that. If you had stuck with the hand you were dealt, maybe people wouldn’t gawk at you as you buy cereal for your son.)

After all of her personal and professional turmoil, Lorenzana seems to have come to the conclusion that hotness may not be all she had originally imagined it was:

“If being less good-looking means being happy and finding love and not being sexually harassed and having a job where no one bothers you and no one questions you because of your looks, then definitely, I’d want that. I think of that every day.” (editorial note: Maybe there is hope for you yet, young plastic surgery addict. And to gain that self-awareness, it only cost you four major plastic surgery procedures, one lost job, a high profile sexual discrimination lawsuit, and public ridicule at the hands of the national media. I’ll bet therapy would have been a much cheaper, more private method to achieve your personal enlightenment.)

I suppose only time (and a jury of her peers) will tell us whether or not Citigroup acted inappropriately in firing her. Was it her plastic surgery accentuations which caused her career to take a tumble, or was it the utterly immature, unprofessional comments regularly spewing from her mouth that did her in? I’ll let you be the judge of that.

If you live in the New York City area and are interested in plastic surgery to reel in your own “Hollywood dreamboat,” please contact experienced New York plastic surgeon Dr. George Lefkovits today to schedule your free initial consultation. Dr. Lefkovits does not take responsibility if his handiwork makes you so good looking that your boss has no other choice but to fire you.

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Posted in Breast Augmentation, Plastic Surgery Addict | No Comments »

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