 |
|
The Cosmetic Surgery Directory BlogWelcome to The Cosmetic Surgery Directory Blog, a resource for people interested in plastic surgery. This consumer-friendly website can be used as a central resource to answer your questions about plastic surgery. Information about Cosmetic Surgeons and Plastic Surgery. |
|
Archive for March, 2010Caulk: Not Exactly Something You Want to Shoot Up Your ButtFriday, March 26th, 2010 I guess this one gives new meaning to the term “plumber’s butt.” Six women in New Jersey were hospitalized after undergoing black market plastic surgery intended to put a little extra junk in their trunk. The problem is, these women did not realize that their butts would literally be shot full of “junk.” By junk, I mean caulk. What exactly is caulk anyway? We all know it is this white crap that you use to plug up your bath tub, but does anyone actually know what that white crap is made of? More importantly, why would anyone think it is a good idea to inject it into their butt? For six Jersey women looking for buttock augmentation on the cheap, they found out the hard way. Apparently, caulk is silicone-based. I suppose that is why the alleged doctor chose to use it for these procedures. I use the term “alleged doctor” because apparently, the guy isn’t even licensed to practice medicine. So instead of getting a butt pumped full of medical grade silicone, these women had to endure massive doses of antibiotics to clear up the infection caused by all the caulk they took up the pooper. The mere thought of this makes me cringe. I’m wondering why they even wanted to use silicone in the first place. Can you imagine having a huge puddle of gooey silicone giggling around every time you sat down? That does not sound too comfortable. Perhaps they should have considered a Brazilian Butt Lift to create their big ol’ badonkadonk. At least then, they could have moved some nasty fat from their love handles and thighs over to their booty, where someone might have actually found it attractive. Unfortunately, their surgically enhanced black market butts probably won’t attract too many men. I can’t imagine anyone will be turned on by squeezing a booty that feels like a bath tub. But then again, these women do live in Jersey. If your bony little butt needs an upgrade before you can feel comfortable shaking it with reckless abandon, please contact experienced New York City plastic surgeon Dr. George Lefkovits today to schedule your free initial consultation. Dr. Lefkovits won’t shoot any caulk up your butt, only fat. That’s a promise. Tags: buttock augmentation, caulk butt, plumber\'s butt Beware & Be Aware!Monday, March 15th, 2010 More people than ever are seeking cosmetic surgery to enhance their appearance. The growth of this field of surgery has not only attracted patients, but also some medical practitioners who haven’t necessarily been trained and/or credentialed in the specialty of plastic surgery. If you are searching for a Texas or Oklahoma plastic surgeon, research their credentials first. A surgeon’s credentials are not only a sign of accomplishment but also serve as a source of information for patients. A surgeon’s credentials serve to document his or her academic accomplishments and qualifications. Display of these credentials offers assurance to patients as to the surgeon’s authenticity. Credentials include diplomas or certifications documenting completion of medical school, residency training program(s), specialty board certificate(s), and professional memberships. This information should be readily available from the surgeon’s office, from local hospitals where he or she practices and from one’s county or state medical board. Internet sites for lay person access are now available and serve as an additional avenue to gain vital information regarding your potential plastic surgeon. Among medical doctors (MD’s), as opposed to osteopathic doctors (DO’s), plastic surgeons should be certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery. This is the only “board” recognized by the American Board of Medical Specialties as that representative of complete training in plastic surgery. Plastic surgeons certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery must first successfully complete four years of medical school and three to six years of general, orthopedic or ENT surgery residency. Following this extensive period of the “basics”, one must then complete an additional two to three years of specific training in a recognized and approved plastic surgery residency program. After completion of this ten to twelve year period of post-graduate preparation, the surgeon must then be in practice for two years prior to being allowed to take an extensive written exam in plastic surgery. First the applicant passes this exam, and then he or she can be invited to participate in a half-day in person oral examination given by nationally recognized plastic surgeons who make up the American Board of Plastic Surgery. Failure rates on the written and oral exams range twelve to twenty percent on each yearly. Following certification by the American Board of Plastic Surgery, a surgeon can then, over time and with documented surgical experience, apply for membership in prestigious organizations such as the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (A.S.P.S.) and the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (A.S.A.P.S.). Posted in Experienced Cosmetic Surgeon | 1 Comment » Stripper Claims Breast Implants as Tax DeductionFriday, March 12th, 2010 Should breast implants be tax deductable? According to a stripper named Chesty Love, the answer is a resounding yes. Chesty got breast augmentation in order to improve the size of her tips (among other things). Her procedure left her with massive size 56 FF breasts. On her tax return, Chesty claimed her breast implants as a deduction, arguing they were an investment in her career. It didn’t take the IRS long to get all worked up in a frenzy over this one. And rightfully so. A tax deduction for your breast implants? That is pushing it a bit. While I admire her creativity in trying to save money on taxes, I have to admit I found myself laughing out loud the first time I heard about this. I mean, she probably only declares about 15% of her tips anyway. She’s already cheating the IRS out of her hard earned money, and now she wants a deduction for her implants? In the eyes of the IRS, this is probably just adding insult to injury. Let’s just think about the slippery slope she is treading. Pretty soon, porn stars will be trying to write off their labiaplasty as tax deductible. After all, you can’t be the centerfold without a perfectly proportioned vagina. We’re talking about career advancement here folks. Amazingly, a female Tax Court judge approved the deduction, classifying Chesty’s new breasts as stage props. Hmm. I’ve never heard of breasts being considered stage props before. I generally think of things like chairs and tables as props. But breasts? Really? Props? Inconceivable. I wonder if our female judge worked her way through law school as an exotic dancer. That may explain her sympathy to Chesty’s plight. Or maybe she just always wanted to dance on a pole with Motley Crue blasting in the background. I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t list that as one of their life aspirations. It is quite the glamorous lifestyle, especially if you look back fondly on the 80s hair band music of your childhood. Chesty may have won the battle, but she ultimately lost the war. One night, while entertaining drunk, horny men on the stripper pole, she tripped, rupturing one of her implants. The resulting infection forced Chesty to have her breast implants removed. I wonder if she can claim that operation as tax deductible as well. And now for a few parting thoughts regarding our tax-savvy stripper… Ain’t karma a bitch. I mean, maybe she’d still have her fancy new knockers if she didn’t try to milk every last cent out of them. But Chesty got greedy, and now her stage prop is nothing more than a puddle of silicone congealing near a stripper pole somewhere in Middle America. Poor Chesty, now she needs a new stage name too. Maybe now we should call her the “Love Explosion.” If you are a stripper in the Newport Beach, California area looking to give your career a bit of a boost, please contact experienced Orange County breast surgeon Dr. Douglas Hendricks today to schedule your free initial consultation. Who knows, maybe you’ll get a tax write-off too. Tags: Chesty Love, tax-deductable breast implants Human Barbie a BOTOX-Shooting MadamThursday, March 11th, 2010 I’d like to briefly follow-up on my post from last week about the Human Barbie injecting her 16-year-old daughter with BOTOX. There have been some interesting new developments in this story.
Madame Pink/Human Barbie also organizes sex parties around the world. Currently, she has thrown parties in London, Italy, and Spain. The next one will be in Thailand. The cost is more than $1,000 per person a night. These parties are open to couples and singles who want to “soak in the erotic ambience.” According to our British madam, her parties are filled with “young, beautiful hipsters. Rich. Cool. The kind of people everyone wants to have sex with.” I urge you to check out her Madame Pink website. It is quite entertaining – chock full of tales of a young Catholic school girl who in her formative school days became “a bit of a filthstress, a lesbian, and a girl all men wanted to play with through the boredom of classroom crap.” And believe me, that is just the tip of the iceberg. I’d elaborate further, but believe it or not, I value my job and do not want to jeopardize it by revealing any of the raunchier segments of this site. However, you should go check it out for yourself. Just be forewarned – you may not want to open this website while at work. It’s no wonder her teenage daughter Hannah has serious issues and is already hitting the BOTOX before her Sweet 16. With a mother whose website boasts of going to confession as a school girl while the priest masturbates to her tales of sexual depravity, it is clear that her poor daughter never stood a chance. Remember, make sure you are not at work when you go to her website. It is definitely worth a glance for entertainment purposes, but you may develop the wrong kind of reputation with your coworkers and bosses. Tags: BOTOX-shooting madam, Human Barbie "Human Barbie" Injects BOTOX into 16-Year-Old DaughterFriday, March 5th, 2010 Talk about being an enabler to a potential plastic surgery addiction. It doesn’t get any worse than this. With a mother commonly referred to as the “Human Barbie,” it was pretty likely that Hannah Burge would eventually dabble in the world of plastic surgery. She just decided to make the plunge a little earlier than anyone expected. Last year, at age 15, Hannah became the youngest British girl ever to get BOTOX. That is saying a lot — those Brits really love their plastic surgery. For Hannah to become the youngest places her in a very exclusive group, even in a country of plastic surgery junkies. According to Hannah: “I had a couple of lines on my forehead and around my mouth, which I was unhappy about. Appearance is important to me and I don’t want to look haggard and ugly by the time I’m 25.” I have to be honest, I really don’t know too many people who look haggard at 25. It just doesn’t happen, and if it does, it is most likely due to one of two reasons:
Even these two lifestyle choices generally won’t rear their affects on your face at age 25. Chances are, you will even still get carded at most bars (at least in this country — I can’t speak for British pubs). I’m 33 and I still get carded at most bars. And no one has ever stuck a needle in my face. F@&k; that! Recently, Hannah has had two additional BOTOX treatments. However, unlike the first procedure which was performed at a clinic in Spain, her two recent injections were administered by Mama Barbie herself. That’s right, her mom, the Human Barbie, willingly stuck needles into her 16-year-old daughter’s face to remove wrinkles. What is this world coming to?
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that this woman is so happy to push her daughter down the road to a lifetime of body image issues. Her nickname speaks volumes on this subject. So do her actions. Sarah Burge, a.k.a. the Human Barbie, has reportedly spent more than $750,000 on plastic surgery before the age of 50, a record in Britain. She spends approximately $33,000 a year maintaining her Barbie-like appearance. Her list of procedures is quite impressive:
If you are reading this blog and your last name is not Burge, please learn from this crazy woman. Her obsession with plastic surgery has caused her poor daughter to fear looking haggard by the age of 25. That is truly tragic. At 25, Hannah should be relishing in the best days of her youth, not going for a facelift to desperately hang onto something she foolishly perceives as slipping through her fingers. I’m not sure where the Human Barbie gets her money from, but clearly she has a lot lying around to spend on silicone. I hope Hannah is lucky enough to either have a serious trust fund or find some rich dude who won’t mind bankrolling what is clearly about to become a serious addiction for the rest of her life. If she has to work long, hard hours to pay for all the surgery she’s going to want, she may actually start looking haggard by age 25. Now that would be ironic. If she’s lucky, poor Hannah may someday find a guy as fixated on appearances as she is. Perhaps she could find her soul mate in a guy nicknamed the “Human Ken.” I’ll bet that would make her mom proud. If you live in the Dallas, Texas area, are old enough to sign your own consent form, and would like to receive BOTOX injections, please contact experienced Dallas plastic surgeon Dr. Vasdev Rai today to schedule your initial consultation. Tags: Botox, Human Barbie |
|
The Cosmetic Surgery Directory Home | About Cosmetic Surgery | Plastic Surgery Articles
ASPS Stats | Cosmetic Surgery Associations | Cosmetic Surgery Blog HTML Site Map | Plastic Surgery Links | Plastic Surgery Procedures | XML Site Map
Disclaimer: The information throughout The Cosmetic Surgery Directory is not intended to be taken as plastic surgery advice. The information throughout The Cosmetic Surgeon Directory is intended to provide general information regarding cosmetic surgery and to help you find a local cosmetic surgeon. If you are interested in cosmetic surgery, contact a cosmetic surgeon in your area.
|
|
 |
|
