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Archive for July, 2009

American Bum?!

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

Are you unattractive, unemployed, down in the dumps? Do you suffer from low self-confidence from your homely appearance and poor job prospects? Do you feel that your aged and haggard exterior is hindering your job search? If you can honestly answer yes to all these questions AND you live in New England, then help may be on the way.

A controversial competition is being held right now for Massachusetts and Rhode Island residents, and the winner will receive free BOTOX injections and hair transplants to kick his or her job hunt into overdrive.

This competition is only open to a select class of people. In order to enter, you must meet the following criteria:

  • Live in Massachusetts or Rhode Island
  • Feel (and I also assume look) unattractive, old, or worn out
  • Suffer from a lack of self-confidence as a result of your appearance
  • Be unemployed

Individuals who wish to enter the contest must submit photos and personal statements to a website. In your application, you must persuasively explain in 100 words or less why you are more deserving of these free plastic surgery procedures than all of the other lowly, pathetic, aesthetically challenged applicants in the pool.

A panel of judges will sift through the applications in order to narrow the contestant field down to 20 finalists. After that, the winner will be decided by the general public in an American Idol-style competition.

I’m not sure what they mean by “American Idol-style.” Will the 20 finalists have to sing and dance? Will they have to dress up like their favorite celebrity? Will they have to demonstrate some type of talent or skill of any kind? Or will they just put themselves at the mercy of those New England residents with nothing better to do than voyeuristically pray on the misery and misfortune of others? Will this be an “I’m uglier and more pathetic than you” competition, or will the winner need to demonstrate some traditional form of merit?

And, I suppose most importantly, will there be a member of the judging panel who will act as the default Simon Cowell, mercilessly shredding all of the finalists of every morsel of dignity that currently remains part of their fragile and damaged psyche? Since this is American Idol for the unemployed, unattractive, and unhappy, should we just call it American Bum?

The winner will receive free hair restoration surgery and free BOTOX or facial filler treatment. The runner-up also gets free BOTOX or facial filler treatment, but instead of hair plugs, will get six months of free low level laser light therapy. It seems like two lucky losers will boost their job prospects from this rather twisted competition.

The highly controversial competition is being sponsored by Leonard Hair Transplant Associates as part of their 20th anniversary celebration. They claim that self-confidence is a major factor in landing that ever-so-elusive job offer, and that by enhancing your appearance through these minor, non-invasive plastic surgery procedures, you will boost your confidence to a level that will help you once again become competitive in your job hunt.

Fortunately, I am not the only person outraged by the twistedness of this contest. In fact, many people have criticized Leonard Hair Transplants for putting on this rather unconventional competition, claiming that offering plastic surgery as a contest prize violates traditional doctor/patient relationships. I can think of a variety of other reasons why this farcical, outrageous competition should make your skin crawl, but I will not get into them here.

I will, however, raise one very important question. What kind of message is this contest sending to our down-in-the-dumps job seekers? Are we really trying to make people believe that if they were just a bit more attractive, they would land the job of their dreams?

I have always believed in the merit system. If you are the most qualified person for the job, you will most likely land it. Of course, it would be naive of me to think that jobs are always earned based on ability. I do realize that in the job hunt, it is often who you know rather than what you know that will determine whether or not you are hired.

However, in a time when unemployment is rampant, it would seem more responsible to encourage our unemployed masses to attempt to boost their skills in order to become more employable. If you have ability, you will eventually get hired, even if it does take some time.

To sell someone on a BOTOX pipe dream is cruel. I don’t care how pretty your face is, if you don’t have the skills, you’re still not getting the job — unless, of course, you have a connection high up in the company. But in that case, you really don’t need BOTOX and hair plugs, do you?

If you live in the Providence, Rhode Island area and are unemployed, you most likely can’t afford to pay for your BOTOX treatments, so you had better get cranking on your contest application. The entry deadline is only two days away (August 1). But if you are gainfully employed and aren’t counting on your BOTOX treatment to land you the job of your dreams, please contact the Providence plastic surgeons at Coastal Plastic Surgery Center today to schedule your initial consultation w/Dr. Goldstein.

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Posted in Botox | 2 Comments »

100% Identical, and It Only Cost $100K

Tuesday, July 21st, 2009

It is not uncommon for identical twins to have a special bond. Often, these siblings share a connectedness that far exceeds what other siblings could ever comprehend. For some, this bond can create an intense rivalry and a desire on the part of each twin to achieve his or her own identity. For others, their identity is forever intertwined with that of their twin.

At times, twins may take this comingling of identities a bit far. Recently, a pair of twins in England has crossed a line that no twins, or any siblings for that matter, should ever cross.

Jo and Kerry Burton have spent almost $100,000 on plastic surgery procedures in an attempt to maintain their identical appearance. Each time they go for surgery, they go together, having the same procedure performed by the same doctor at the same time.

It all started when they were 21. Jo decided she wanted a nose job, so Kerry came along and got one too. Since that watershed moment in their lives, the twins have been plastic surgery junkies, and what gets done to one must always be done to the other.

The Burton twins are now 34. Since their first rhinoplasty 13 years ago, they have gotten an eye lift, breast augmentation, a second nose job, and regular BOTOX injections. They even opted for the same breast size with their implants — 34DD. In order to tell the two apart, their plastic surgeon would write their initials on their bellies before administering anesthesia.

According to Kerry, “We would hate to look different, so we had to have the cosmetic surgery together. We both had chicken pox together as children and we had the same hobbies, such as Brownies and dancing — and so our identical cosmetic surgery followed from that.”

My sister and I had chicken pox at the same time, but we don’t get BOTOX or nose jobs together. I think my friends would have an intervention if we were to do that.

I wonder how they decide on their procedures. If they don’t agree on a particular procedure, is there a bargaining that will take place? I could just see the conversation:

Kerry: Do you suppose we could get bigger boobies this year?

Jo: I don’t know. I kind of like mine the way they are.

Kerry: Come on, it’ll be fun.

Jo: How big?

Kerry: DDs.

Jo: That’s gigantic! I don’t want to walk around with knockers that big. I’ll need a whole new wardrobe.

Kerry: But I really want them. Please?

Jo: Only if you promise we’ll get liposuction next year. My thighs are a bit jiggly when I walk on the beach.

Kerry: But I don’t really want liposuction.

Jo: How bad do you want those DDs?

Kerry: Ok. But I get to choose what we do the next year.

I suppose it must be great to be their plastic surgeon. He always gets double the work and double the fee. Not too shabby. But I have to question the ethics of a plastic surgeon who will continuously perform these procedures on a set of twins so that they could continue to look identical. At some point, enough is enough. What these girls need is not another lift, tuck, or injection. They need some therapy, and maybe an independent identity.

According to the twins, there may very well be more hers and hers surgery to come. Any bets on when the plastic surgery tab will break the $200,000 mark? Early 40s? Mid 50s? Will they get a plaque or a gold watch if they spend more than $500,000 between the two of them?

If you live in the New York City area and want to look a little more like your twin, please contact the New York plastic surgery office of CosMedica to schedule a consultation with Dr. Bellin.

Posted in Botox, Breast Augmentation, rhinoplasty | 2 Comments »

Plastic Surgery Company Busted for False Consumer Reviews

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

Lifestyle Lift, a nationwide plastic surgery company, has recently settled a case brought by the New York State Attorney General’s Office after the company was caught posting fake positive customer reviews on the Internet for its face lift procedure.

The company required their employees to write rave reviews of the product as if they were consumers who had purchased and used the product. These reviews were posted on various web sites that review plastic surgery products. The company also created several websites of their own that they marketed as independent review sites; however, all of the reviews on these sites were written by Lifestyle Lift employees as well.

The attorney general’s office uncovered one company email which instructed employees to “devote the day to doing more postings on the Web as a satisfied client.”

Lifestyle Lift will be required to pay $300,000 in penalties to the State of New York. They have also been forced to cease writing fraudulent reviews as if they were satisfied customers. In the future, all reviews published by employees must be labeled as such.

The actions of Lifestyle Lift are deplorable. It seems that the penalty is not strong enough for the egregious violation of public trust committed by the plastic surgery corporation. Millions of consumers across the country rely on reviews from web sites such as Amazon, Yelp, and Epinions when researching products. The fine levied against Lifestyle Lift seems to be more of a slap on the wrist than a real punishment for consciously defrauding our country’s plastic surgery patients.

These criminal actions underscore the importance of the need to consult an experienced, board certified plastic surgeon whenever you are considering a cosmetic treatment. It is sad that we cannot trust many companies to deal truthfully with us. By discussing your plastic surgery goals with a surgeon who has achieved board certification, you can be confident that you are speaking with someone who is being held to the highest levels of ethical and professional standards.

If you are interested in plastic surgery in the Naples, Florida, please contact the Florida plastic surgery office of Dr. Manuel Pena today to schedule your initial consultation. He is board certified by the American Society of Plastic Surgery.

Posted in Facelift, Plastic Surgery | No Comments »

Silicone Breast Implant Explodes at Airport

Thursday, July 9th, 2009

When Irena D. received her size F silicone breast implants, her plastic surgeon never informed her that she should be careful when flying. She had to learn this lesson the hard way when her implant exploded as her flight landed at Los Angeles International Airport.

Irena claims she did not feel well when she boarded the flight traveling from Moscow to Los Angeles. Her condition deteriorated as the flight progressed, leading to her ultimate collapse as she was exiting the plane. Little did she know at the time that her problems were caused by a defective breast implant.

According to doctors, the flight may not have been the only reason for the rupture of her massive F cup implant. However, it is clear that the change in pressure during the flight exacerbated the condition of the defective implant.

Irena is currently recovering at home. Doctors have ordered her to remain in bed for at least a week. She has been informed that her implant cannot be replaced. Poor Irena. She will probably look quite awkward with one size F breast and one deflated breast.

For all women considering breast augmentation, let this be a lesson to you. Be very careful when deciding on your implant size. If you choose to go too big, you run the risk of putting too much strain on the implant shell. As Irena D. has shown us, this makes regular activities such as traveling on a plane quite dangerous.

What would have happened if she were flying to a third world country when this disaster struck? She may have been stuck with massive quantities of silicone floating around in her chest until she returned to the States.

I suppose Irena has started a new type of “Mile High Club.” I am not sure if she is the only member of this club, but I would imagine that at most, there are only a select few who could boast a similar achievement. Congratulations Irena. I hope you enjoy being a trend setter.

If you are interested in breast augmentation in the Northern Virginia and Washington, D.C. area, please contact the Virginia Center for Plastic Surgery today to schedule your consultation with Dr. Desman.

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Posted in Breast Augmentation, Silicone Breast Implants | 1 Comment »

The G-Shot: Absolutely Orgasmic

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

Most plastic surgery procedures are solely intended to enhance your aesthetic physical appearance, and any pleasure you receive from the results stems from the enjoyment of looking and feeling more attractive. But wouldn’t it be great if you can actually experience increased pleasure as a result of your plastic surgery procedure? For sexually liberated women who are willing to fork out some cash and take a chance, this has become a reality.

The procedure is called the G-Shot, or G-Spot augmentation. It was created by a Los Angeles gynecologist/plastic surgeon in 2005 and it has helped many women achieve heightened sexual pleasure and more intense orgasms ever since.

So who is an ideal candidate for the G-Shot? Just about any woman with a healthy sex life who is comfortable with her body can get the procedure. Oh, there is one more qualification — you must know where your G-Spot is in order to get the procedure. If you haven’t found it yet, you’d better start searching, because your plastic surgeon will need some help and guidance from you during the procedure.

This is a minimally-invasive procedure that takes less than a half hour to complete. You can go to your plastic surgeon on your lunch break and return to work an hour later without anyone in your office having a clue that you are a newly sexually liberated beast. Your lunch break is actually a great time to go for the procedure since it will take about four hours before you can engage in sexual activity. When you leave work at the end of the day, you will be about ready to try out your newly enlarged G-Spot. Time to go home and jump your husband’s or boyfriend’s bones. It may turn out to be the greatest night of your life.

The procedure is quite simple. Your plastic surgeon will inject human derived collagen into your G-Spot to stimulate and enlarge the area. You may experience some minor bleeding immediately afterward, but this will go away shortly. The results last for about 4 months. If you are loving your revamped sex life, you will have to go for another injection to maintain the results.

The procedure is a bit pricy though. It costs almost $2,000 for the injection, so you might want to wait until you are in a relationship to get it done. You wouldn’t want to waste all that money and the best four months of sex you will ever have looking for potential partners.

You might be wondering if this procedure actually works. After all, it sounds too good to be true. It is important to remember that the G-Shot is a relatively new procedure so there is not very much data or research to date. However, in a pilot study conducted by the procedure’s creator, 87% of women receiving the G-Shot reported enhanced sexual arousal and gratification. So while it is a bit early to judge the G-Shot, it does seem like it is making it easier for women to achieve intense orgasms.

If you are going to spend several thousand dollars on an elective surgical procedure, it may as well provide you with a tangible improvement to your life. While breast augmentation, liposuction, and facial procedures may make you feel better about yourself, the G-Shot will make you feel better. Period. Seems like a no-brainer to me.

Of course, you do run the risk that you will become addicted to your new orgasms, which means you might be on the hook for several $2,000 expenditures a year to maintain the best sex of your life.

If you are looking to give your sex life a boost, try the G-Shot. If you live in the Chicago, Illinois area, please contact the Chicago plastic surgery office of Dr. Otto J. Placik today to schedule your initial consultation.

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Posted in Plastic Surgery Procedures | No Comments »

The Healing Powers of BOTOX

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009

BOTOX is most commonly used by plastic surgeons to reduce the appearance of wrinkles in aging skin. However, this is by no means the extent of its usefulness. For many years, doctors have been experimenting with off-label uses of the product. Off-label uses consist of treatment purposes the drug has not received official FDA approval for. Pharmaceutical companies cannot legally market the drug for these purposes.

One of the more common experimental uses of BOTOX is as a treatment for migraines. Several studies have evaluated the drug’s effectiveness in reducing the pain of these devastating headaches. While there is no conclusive evidence that BOTOX is a migraine wonder cure, many patients have experienced a serious reduction in their symptoms and pain after receiving treatments.

Recently, there have been several other potential uses of BOTOX that may indicate that we have a wonder drug on our hands. Consider the following:

  • BOTOX has recently been found to clear up acne. Acne is caused by the sebaceous glands in your skin releasing too much oil, also called sebum, into your pores. Bacteria feed off of this sebum, causing an inflammation that you experience as a pimple. BOTOX stops the production of sebum, and as a result, the bacteria in your pores have nothing to feed off of.
  • BOTOX has been found to cure baldness in some people. This treatment was discovered by accident, when a doctor using BOTOX to treat headaches found that the patient began growing more hair after having the drug injected into her scalp. BOTOX dilates the blood vessels in your scalp, causing an increase in the flow of nutrients to the hair shaft. This stimulates the hair follicles and causes new hair to grow.
  • Psychologists have been examining the effects of BOTOX on depression. There is growing evidence that your facial expression strongly impacts your mood. Therefore, if you scowl or frown frequently, you will be more likely to feel angry or depressed. If you smile regularly, you will feel happy. For many people, BOTOX injections cause their face to become fixated in a somewhat smiling expression. This has been found to positively improve the mood of these people. Look out Prozac, here comes BOTOX!

Of course, there are the more bizarre uses of BOTOX as well. Women have experimented with injecting the drug into their feet to reduce the pain caused by wearing high heels. Perhaps the most off-the-wall use of BOTOX came at the hands of Sharon Stone last fall, when she tried to use it to prevent her 10-year-old child from having smelly armpits.

What will come next? We will have to wait and see. But one thing is clear: just as Windex proved the cure-all for a loud Greek family in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” BOTOX may be the next cure-all for middle- and upper-class American suburbanites across the country. When in doubt, get BOTOX.

If you live in the Phoenix, Arizona area and have a bizarre problem that just won’t go away, BOTOX might be the treatment you’ve been looking for. Please contact the Phoenix plastic surgery office of Dr. Paul Angelchik today to schedule an initial consultation.

Posted in Botox | No Comments »

Ear Surgery Targets Children, Teens

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

Otoplasty is a procedure that reshapes your ears so that they may be more proportional with the rest of your head. During the procedure, a plastic surgeon will shave cartilage off of your ear and then mold it into a more natural shape. The surgery can help change the angle of your ear or reduce its size.

There has been a growing trend in recent years to market this surgery to young children and teenagers. Here is the philosophy being used:

Children are cruel. They will make fun of each other for the slightest imperfection. For children with overly large or disproportional ears, this ridicule can cause severe psychological damage and seriously lower self-esteem. In an attempt to spare your child such a scarring experience, you should have his or her ear reshaped to avoid this torturous mockery at the hands of cruel peers.

I can’t fault plastic surgeons for adopting this marketing stance. After all, they are trying to generate clients, and how many adults will actually care enough to have their ears reshaped? However, I find it shocking that parents would buy this marketing ploy hook, line, and sinker.

Kids have been teasing each other about physical imperfections since the dawn of time. It is what they do. To some degree, all children feel awkward and uncomfortable in their bodies — even those who are considered by their peers to be “attractive.” Many children choose to put others down in an attempt to feel better about themselves. That is just human nature when it comes to interactions between children.

The reality is that for generations, children have endured this ridicule and then grown into adulthood without severe self-esteem issues. We all know people from our childhood who were called “Dumbo.” Perhaps you were one of them. We all have memories of other children sticking their own ears out in the most overtly protruding manner possible to make fun of their big-eared peers. Perhaps you were one of these people. Perhaps you were simply the person who watched from the sidelines, attempting to stifle your snicker because you felt bad for the child being picked on.

Regardless of what role you played in this incident, you undoubtedly have some memories of a similar experience. We all do. It is part of being a child. Why should we assume that children today are any different?

Fortunately, the vast majority of children with big ears eventually grow into them as they move through adolescence and into adulthood. At this point, the ridicule and mockery stops, and they no longer feel self-conscious about their big ears.

For generations, children have been forced to suck up this cruel treatment due to having big ears. Most of these children become fairly normally adjusted adults — at least, they are as normally adjusted as anyone else. I guess “normally adjusted” is somewhat of a relative term.

So why is the 21st Century any different than the 20th in this regard? Why do children all of a sudden need to be spared this cruel treatment when generations of children emerged from it none the worse?

What kind of a message are you sending to your child if you give him or her plastic surgery to avoid getting picked on at school? Wouldn’t you be sending a better message if you sat your child down and explained that what is most important is the person you are on the inside? By having this conversation, you are more likely to raise a child that grows into a beautiful adult — both inside and out.

While the numbers of children visiting plastic surgeons for otoplasty are growing exponentially, I would like to challenge the parents to reconsider their values and the purpose of this surgery. Is your child better off for it, or are you sending a message to your child that vanity and superficiality trump substance and integrity in life? What are the consequences of sending that message?

Besides, what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. If your child gets teased for big ears, he will learn a valuable lesson in life. He will learn how to take such treatment in stride without letting it consume him. This is a good skill to learn at such a young age. Your child will also hopefully learn how it feels to be treated poorly, and decide that he does not want to be responsible for making others feel that way. After all, you never truly understand the impact of your cruel actions until you have been treated cruelly yourself.

If you have read through this entire tirade and still believe that your child should get ear surgery to avoid the ridicule that we’ve all gone through in the past, please contact
the Naples, Florida plastic surgery office of Dr. Manuel Pena today to schedule a consultation.

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Posted in Plastic Surgery Procedures | No Comments »

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